First boat ride

We bought a boat! I have always LOVED boating! Eric, being from the South, didn't see the necessity of a boat until he moved here. We have a lot of family that own boats, so the last three years has seen us out on the water whenever possible. That is awesome, except for one fact... we only get to go out when they do.

My man likes to fish. I like to fish. You can't "normally" catch nice big fish off the shoreline. It seems obvious that we NEEDED a boat!! haha. Eric does a lot of research and thinking before purchasing a large any item. We watched for a nice used one. I am not a fan of buying new as the price drops so much right away! But the more we looked it seemed as though the boat we wanted was pretty pricey even used- therefore we went new. It was so much fun to go look through the lots and compare what we liked and didn't. I was just excited to get it and be on the water!

It took a week to put in the fish finders and install whatever else goes along with a boat. We went and picked it up. Planning to go out the next weekend. It was so windy! The decision was made we couldn't take the baby out in it... FWD the next weekend. Eric gets home from work and we load up and go to the lake! Excitement building as we are driving- we bought a boat! We can go whenever it pleases us! Then just like that... the wind is out of our sails... the dock isn't in yet! Now, I am sort of a girly girl in this department. I do NOT pull trailers, I don't really enjoy driving that huge truck and I have never driven a boat!! We talked and talked about what to do. Can I back the truck into the water? I finally got some nerve and decided we were never going to have help now is the time to learn to do these things.
I know it sounds so stupid, but I wanted to practice. So E stood beside the truck and guided me in, then I pulled out and back in. Hmm, that wasn't SO bad! He got into the boat and I pulled into the water shaking like a leaf. All I could think was what happens if I do something stupid and put the truck in. My imagination is crazy!

We were off! I am not a great swimmer, so I freak out if I don't have a jacket ON! I know here you don't have to have it on, but to be comfortable I always do!! I really thought Z wouldn't like his life jacket. Kids jackets are so awkward. We couldn't even zip up the infants jacket he was too big. Of course I want us to be SO safe with my baby, so I found a manager to help us fit him. At his advice and after trying several on him, be bought a child size.  He hates to be constricted! He did great though, was so interested at the water moving by and watching the shore go past. As soon as we stopped though, he was bored! Thankfully I had taken a lot of different toys to busy him with. We were out for about an hour, just enough to get the feel for it and throw in a line for a few minutes.

It was wonderful!! I love spending quality time with my husband and baby! We are so happy we got one and are looking forward to many more boating outings! It will be one of those "well worth it" purchases.

Always wants that camera!

 

 Figuring it all out

 I was looking over the camera to make him laugh and missed his body every time!

 He loved sitting in the seat by himself. So independent!

 He also kept licking his life jacket?? lol

 Fishing!

Infertility

This week is Infertility Awareness Week.

Infertility is a hard subject to discuss and many that experience it suffer in silence.

This is my story...

It is so hard to bring up the subject with family and friends that had no problem conceiving only for them to tell you... it will happen in time, are you doing it right, you know you have to be... blah, blah, blah. As one who suffered from it- I didn't NEED anyone to tell me how to try and make it happen. I needed support, prayers, just quiet being there. Yes, we know how to make it happen. I guarantee I know more about my body, how it is working, what part of the cycle I am in and what exactly is happening, than most any women out there who decided- I want to get pregnant and bam it happens without any help. Sometimes you can do everything right and it just doesn't work! Over and over and over again

I didn't share my struggles with anyone for a long time. I felt like a failure as a woman. No one in my family or extended family had ever struggled with infertility. It is something that consumes your whole life, your mind and happiness. Everything becomes routine and calculated. Getting up at 4 every single day of the week to temp, taking multi\prenatal vitamins, taking specific vitamins to help you be fertile, marking your chart every afternoon, seeing the dip in temps and holding your breath for the next two weeks to see if they stay up, feeling bad when you start cramping, crying when your period comes and then the week of depression knowing your body let you down once again. Month after month after month.

As the time goes by, you think it will never happen and get stressed out which in turn messes up your body even more. "Just relax" they say and I want to scream- Just relax? You can't even begin to imagine what I am feeling and you tell me to just relax??? Our marriage was tried. There were many nights I would just cry in bed and Eric would do nothing but hold me. There was no senseless- It will be oks- because honestly who really knew if it would. He is such a good man, he somehow knew just what I needed. When to talk and when to stay quiet.

The doctors say it can take a normal healthy couple a year to conceive, that first year passed and my attitude turned more bleak- an appointment was made. I was having a very hard time talking to anyone and withdrew into myself. There were so many people becoming pregnant, even in our small family, I was happy for them I really was. I would never grudge anybody the joy of having a child, even if we didn't, life goes on and that is the natural process. But it hurt, it hurt bad. Maybe we could adopt started to turn in my mind. I have always had a heart that was open to adopting regardless if we had children or not. There are so many babies out there that need to be loved. The holidays started getting close and I am increasingly sad all the time. I just can't help it, I can't pull out of this funk I am in. Eric and I decided even though we were going down South for Christmas, we (prob really I) needed to have a break from everything. We went to Rapid City to a quaint little cabin and rested, relaxed and did the little tourism places. It was nice! I felt rejuvenated and even happy knowing that I could\would get some answers the next month.

Christmastime we drove to South Carolina and saw our families. It was so nice to be around our parents and enjoy the nieces and nephews. While there I saw my OB\GYN I had been going to 10 years prior to moving back to ND. She talked to us, ordered some blood work and gave us some options based on what the blood work would say. Several days later, gave blood. We decided to clean out our storage facility and take our belongings with us so that occupied my mind and time for the next week. The results came back and we are told I will NOT be able to get pregnant without help. Devastated! Eric and I had already discussed the options and decided we would NOT do any kind of fertility medicine. It wasn't worth the risk for us and there were other ways we could add to our family.

January rolls around. I felt different- tired, exhausted. I told Eric, I don't know what it feels like to be pregnant, but if Dr. ___ hadn't just told me it's impossible; this is what I imagined it would feel like." My period was late and hope arose. I mean, could they be wrong??? Does the blood work lie? I waited a week and bought tests. Took the first one at night (something they tell you not to do right on the box, but hey!) and it was instantly positive! Disbelief! Showed E and we just stared at it... Decided to take another the next day and see if that thing was faking us out. Another instant positive! If you can imagine-our minds start spiraling out of control. Is it really seriously possible, it was just weeks before they told me it wasn't. I called the office that day. They had the same thoughts and also told me "No, it is very unlikely you would be pregnant". My levels were way, way to low. But they order a test just to see... more blood work. So I go after work and have some blood drawn. It took a WEEK to get the results back!! Since the order came from SC they had to wait for it, then fax everything back and the office wasn't receiving what they were told was faxed. UGH!! If I thought that those months of tracking and waiting was an emotional roller coaster, what was this? The hoping and being scared to have too much hope was terrifying! They finally called with a "Congratulations! Your HCG is 3100. Because your levels are so low, we need to start you on medicine ASAP!" Thankfully Eric was by my side when they did call and could hear the news. As if a huge weight had lifted off our shoulders and we were light as feathers we flew together and held each other. Our journey of starting a family had finally begun!

It was a surreal time. It felt like we were walking in dreamland for awhile until we got to see that little baby and heartbeat at 6 weeks. Our hearts were full and overflowing!!

Jesus is so good to us. I just can't say it enough. He knew we wanted a family so bad, but we did have to wait on His timing. It is so hard to focus and believe any of that during the trying times and I very often lost sight of everything but my own selfishness. It was worth the wait. Zane was worth the wait. Our marriage is so much stronger now, our love is so much deeper and we love this boy with all of our heart! I wake up every morning thanking Jesus for this boy and end every day thanking Him.

Easter 2013

Of course, I went out and found matching outfits to wear to church for our little family!!! It would be so cute!!
First off- finding cute dressy clothes for boys under 24 months here is nearly impossible- I am talking like vest and tie or bow tie or anything of that nature. If there is a place, I haven't found it yet! Second- finding adult clothes to match baby clothes? I ended up going with solid colors for Eric and I. It was super hard to find a yellow, orange or bright blue men's dress shirt that wasn't "slim". My Eric is not a "slim" guy and there is NO way he was wearing a tight fitting dress shirt. It was not to difficult to find a dress that I liked. There had to be one easy thing about that shopping trip! I was so excited getting everything PERFECT and ready to go.
Dum dum dum... I mean nothing really ever goes as planned right?
This was the week that Zane was not feeling well. Read about it here. Sunday morning the poor baby wakes up at 4:30 crying. He isn't hungry and he just doesn't feel well. I bathe him and the warm water calms him down so he falls back asleep. I redress him and put him back to bed... It is now 6:30ish. Wake up at 8 and start getting ready for church, I get the baby all ready for church and he has ANOTHER melt down. I don't know what to do for my sweet boy and he is so miserable. I strip him back to his diaper, he calms down and we spend the morning chilling at home. It was so disappointing not being able to go to church. But then the Lord reminds me that that 1. I should not be looking forward to going to church  because we look cute 2. I should not be disappointed because of said reason and I am humbled. He is good to us! I am so thankful He died on the cross for my sins so I could be with him in Heaven one day. I fail him daily and yet the Lord still loves my and blesses me regardless. What kind of love!
We spent the morning talking and reading a book to Zane about Jesus and the reason for Easter. It is never too early to start showing him what Jesus did for us. I love to read to him in hopes he will also be an avid reader someday! We had made a commitment to arrive at my grandmas house at 1. I had spent the previous evening preparing several dishes. So we re-dressed in our Easter clothes and head down there for awhile. It is always so nice to see the extended family. Lots of yummy food and desserts. I have had a crazy sweet tooth lately and I honestly thought about skipping the food and going straight to dessert!!! I was a good girl though and ate real food! Haha. Zane had a good couple hours. He ate some fruit puree yogurt and hammed it up on various people's laps. His favorite was my cousin Michael. He has never seen this guy before and he sat on his lap the longest. Kids always amaze! We stayed down there for a couple hours then came home and took naps. The rest of the day flew by. I don't even really remember what went on? I do know- I put Zane to bed early. He looked so sweet in his outfit! And that was our Easter!

 He Loves his daddy!

 

 Perfect little hands

 

 

Lowering the crib

I lowered the crib...

These milestones make me so emotional. My BABY is getting so big!!
We have such a determined little boy, I was nervous he would get it in his head and pull himself up.
I know he is close to being capable. He likes to hold onto my fingers and pull to a sitting position so he is really getting stronger tummy muscles. I don't have a video monitor (hindsight I totally would have gotten one) and lately he has NOT been going right to sleep when I put him in the crib, so I worry! I mean that is my job right- to worry senselessly?

I didn't have this in mind when I lowered it.... but he can't hit his mobile and turn it on anymore. Which means he doesn't spend 30 minutes playing with it before going to sleep. I don't know if it is coincidence but he has been going to sleep much faster and with less crying. It took me awhile to actually allow him to "CIO". He would fuss and I would go, give him his paci and walk back out. Which since he was still crying it fell right back out. If I let him cry for awhile and calm down then go in and stick it back in the mouth- he goes right to sleep. He recently has been turning on his stomach a lot in the crib and then cried because he didn't turn himself back over. He is fully capable of doing it so I don't get that? Well with the CIO he falls asleep on his stomach and has gotten used to it. SO now at night I am not getting up so much to flip him over when he turns in his sleep.

When I lowered the crib I took the bumpers out. He has been getting his feet and legs stuck in the slats. Wakes up screaming when he tries to move and can't get them out. I think those need to go back in for now!!! 

He is such a good little boy and I love him SO much! Very happy when he gets those naps in :)

 

When I clean the room he plays with toys in the crib



Holding onto the crib railing

Stuck foot

 

Another problem with no bumpers 

 

Stuck leg 

6 Month Doctors Visit

On March 5, Zane had his 6 month checkup. He is doing fantastic!!
His percentile rates are awesome!!
We KNEW we had a healthy baby, (everyone tells us what a chunk he is- perchance we didn't already know! lol) but this proves it.

Head= 60%
Height=87%
Weight= 83%
I am hoping his height % is an indication he inherited Eric's family genes for height?? He is 27 3/4 inches long. We moved into twelve month clothes!
We are on an adjusted schedule for shots as he is getting a select few. He did great for his shot... one little cry out and that was it. The time before he didn't even cry out. Seeing this and having NO side affects from the shots makes me super happy Eric and I decided to take them one at a time and spread them out. I would rather have a happy boy and need to go in once a month, then to have him feel bad and need to "sleep it off".

The week before his appointment, Zane had some "illness"- I couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong. He would cry and cry and nothing would console him. I would hold him, put him down, take his clothes off and check every appendage to make sure nothing was strangling or bothering him. Then he started waking up several times during the night and early morning crying. He wasn't very hungry and it seemed as though he was very uncomfortable. Several times the only thing that helped would be to get into the shower and let the warm water wash over him and soothe him to sleep. So this went on for about a week, I took him to the walk-in Dr. and there was nothing noticeably wrong with him. Told me to give him an antibiotic "to cover the bases'- um no! There wasn't anything wrong that you can find, so why would I give him antibiotic? Took him to the chiropractor and got his little body adjusted. A few days later he was himself again. This mama was very thankful- I was worn out!! At his 6 month checkup the doc did a very thorough check on him and he is all good! It was decided he probably had a virus that had made him so upset and it had worked it's way out.
Next appointment is at 9 months!

 

 

 

Love, Joy

April Snow

It's April. Snow should be melting and summer coming, BUT here we are ANOTHER blizzard. This time though something special happened- new records were made. Ummm... I totally could have been happy without making those new records! I usually love the snow and enjoy playing outside, shoveling all the fun things winter brings. This year I am tired and so ready for Spring and warmth! I have a child now and it isn't easy to just dress him in a coat and head outside- he would FREEZE!! So we have spent a lot of this winter in the house. I am not a big homebody, we both have gotten major cabin fever and need to spend some hours outside in the sun! Since we had to have more snow though, here are some pics and the records Bismarck broke yesterday.

According to Kevin Lawrence at KFYRTV.com

**ALL-TIME BISMARCK SNOW RECORD ESTABLISHED FOR A SINGLE DAY**

The official snow measurement as the Bismarck airport is 15.8" as of 7pm, but still snowing. The previous one-day record was March 3, 1966 (Blizzard of the Century...) with 15.5". The third all-time  record is 15.2" on April 5, 1997

The ending number for the Bismarck airport was 17.7 inches.
We also made the record for the most snowfall in April.

Eric, naturally, got stuck in Belfield! He had to take back roads to Dickinson where his hotel room was. I tell you, for being a "Southern" boy, he does amazing driving and getting around in the crazy weather. It scares me and I grew up in it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A blog

I know, I know... a blog?

I LOVE LOVE blogs. I follow several... 10. My boy is now 6 months, and time has flown. I have been writing lots of things in Zane's baby book. But what about all the small things that don't get written in there and there definitely isn't enough space- trust me!! So what is going to make a blog any different than a journal? Well I get to share it with all of you!!

I want to share pictures and stories of my two boys and all the fun things we do. They are my life! I want to share memories with family and friends far away. In the past, before Zane, Eric and I used to take little day/weekend trips and see new places. Hopefully soon we can resume taking adventures. For those who can't see us every day, every week, every month... I give you- our life!

Love, Joy